On Saturday, 4 Empresses of the Chroman Empire invaded Pole Theatre UK with good intentions. Writer, Jo was actually being useful and cleaning the poles between competitors while writer, Eilish and editors, Cat & Lynx were there to enjoy the competition and cheer on Jo's sweet booty scaling the poles. Pole Theatre UK is a great competition as it has categories for everyone: Art - (which incorporates pole & another form of dance such as burlesque, ballet, salsa, etc.) Comedy - a comedic-based routine Drama - tell a story with a beginning, middle and end Classique - exotic pole This was the junior and amateur competition, which is for kids, (who are incredibly talented) and anyone who isn't classified as professional, but does include instructors. Each category is divided into beginner, intermediate, and advanced/instructor, and doubles/groups compete against solo performers. We always watch the junior competitors with a mix of awe and jealousy. Our bodies have stiffened with age and we were never flexible as kids. To see the juniors busting out a Russian split without second thought is incredible and annoying. There is no way we could do that without a harmonious pinging of our handsprings, and probably needing surgery to get us back to a normal position. At the age of 9, these kids are already better polers than we will ever be. It's incredible to see, but kids, just wait til you hit 30 and sleeping awkwardly will put your neck out for a week. We actually applied for Pole Theatre in the drama and classique categories, so we were interested to see what our competition was. Yeah, there was no way in hell we would've won, so we didn't begrudge any of the competitors their places. They all definitely earned them. We have a lot of work to do before next year's entries open. One of our favourite performances was from Pure Demons, a group classique act that featured a nun being tempted by her urges, and then being tormented by demons having orgies. It was brilliant, and being performed to Disturbed's Down with the Sickness just made it better. More rock and metal in pole, please! We also really enjoyed HL Divas baby routine. Marie and Hannah are always entertaining, and this routine was especially funny. The comedy category was especially strong this year, with more entries than last year. The Ace Ventura routine and the Charlie Chaplin style one were particularly memorable. Our favourite junior routine was the snake in the Garden of Eden. Teagan was incredible as the snake and a well-deserved winner. We are looking forward to the semi pro and pro final on July 11th!